Dear Traveler,
It’s been a while…I hope you’re well.
Recently I've heard about more than one person who is feeling very "alone" in their illness, prompting me to share this story.
While soaking in the tub not long ago, the memory of my first shower after “the big surgery” came flooding back to me (so to speak.) On reflection, I’m amazed to realize how very weak I was, and that I risked getting into the shower by myself at all. But Oxycodone maketh giddy the prudent mind, and I had been looking forward to a real soak for days. Drugged and dizzy, a-showering I did go. At first it felt wonderful – Independence! Hot water everywhere! Ahh… everything was going to be OK!
A few moments later, every bit of the strength I’d mustered suddenly spiraled down the drain. I checked; no reserves. I stood grasping the wall, exhausted and shaking. Afraid of falling head-first on the hard porcelain and tile, I didn’t try to move, nor did I have the lung power to call out for help. OK, I thought to myself; you have to solve this problem on your own, right here and now, before you fall. “Treat yourself as you would one of your patients”, I heard, from somewhere inside. OK, what would I do? (What would you do?)
In retrospect I acted on intuition, and the images make me laugh now. I moved my right hand slowly toward my left arm, making sure not to throw myself off balance. I patted my left arm kindly, and whispered “It’s alright, honey. I know you’re really tired, and this is scary, but you’re going to be OK. Here’s what we’re going to do: we’re going to rinse away all the soap, then we’re going to turn off the water and step out of the tub. We’ll dry off, and you can go lay down on your nice, comfortable bed. You’ll be fine – I’m right here, holding on to you.” I felt a tiny surge of strength, my balance stabilized. “Honey” cried a few anxious tears, but she hung on and we made it out of the shower safely.
Please try this approach some time if you’re struggling or in danger, and there’s no help at hand. Nuts, you say? Well, sometimes we have to be a little bit desperate to open ourselves up to solutions. I don’t know who or what whispered in my ear, and I don’t need to know. I’m grateful. The suggestion worked beautifully, and after some time, I believe I’m beginning to understand why.
When we’re sick or injured, even when we’re really sick or badly injured, a large part of us is still OK. We feel terrible; we’re in pain, we’re scared, we’re going to throw up… maybe all of the above. But here’s the thing: if we’re conscious, our heart is still beating. Our lungs are still expanding and contracting, exchanging gases, breathing. In all likelihood our bones are holding together and our muscles and nerves are enabling them to move. Our minds can still think, our hearts feel. With all of that happening, we have a lot going for us and can say to ourselves “Well now; part of me is sick (or emotionally wounded, or physically injured), but another part is well, and from that vantage point I can help the sick/damaged part.” If, dear Traveler, you’re a parent or have ever helped another in need when you yourself were not at your best, you’ve already practiced this. All that remains is to apply it to your self.
This becomes a very empowering skill when we use it consciously. For one thing, it means we’re never alone, never helpless, because we can always depend on ourselves. To have the love and support of friends and family in times of struggle is an immeasurable gift; yet even without it, gifts abound. To dig deep into the well of our own resources when the need is greatest makes us wealthy… we find riches there we might never have found otherwise. If you’re seriously ill and are being cared for by dear friends and family members, it’s a blessing. If you have a committed life partner who selflessly participates in your efforts to save your life as if his/her life also depended on it, you’re (both) doubly blessed. If you’re on your own, you still have the best helper any of us can have: yourself. Not only that, you’re three times blessed, because you will emerge from your difficulties with new courage, clearer vision, and a peaceful self-confidence you never dreamed you could possess – because you worked for and found it yourself. Now you can share your new strength with those in need, and with the whole world.
So, dear Traveler, whether you’re wondrously healthy or facing some trying health challenges, remember: you’re never alone. If you’re constantly surrounded by caring people, count your blessings, but make time occasionally to reach into your private well of resources so you don’t miss out on the treasures there. And if you’re on your own, you’re one step ahead. You’re already reaching, and growing richer by the day.
With love ~ rosemary
PS – we all need some help with a few basic things when we’re ill… we need groceries delivered, and laundry done, and the bills paid. If you’re having trouble with the basics, there are people and organizations that can help. If you don’t know how to find them, please email me and I’ll try and point you in the right direction.
It’s been a while…I hope you’re well.
Recently I've heard about more than one person who is feeling very "alone" in their illness, prompting me to share this story.
While soaking in the tub not long ago, the memory of my first shower after “the big surgery” came flooding back to me (so to speak.) On reflection, I’m amazed to realize how very weak I was, and that I risked getting into the shower by myself at all. But Oxycodone maketh giddy the prudent mind, and I had been looking forward to a real soak for days. Drugged and dizzy, a-showering I did go. At first it felt wonderful – Independence! Hot water everywhere! Ahh… everything was going to be OK!
A few moments later, every bit of the strength I’d mustered suddenly spiraled down the drain. I checked; no reserves. I stood grasping the wall, exhausted and shaking. Afraid of falling head-first on the hard porcelain and tile, I didn’t try to move, nor did I have the lung power to call out for help. OK, I thought to myself; you have to solve this problem on your own, right here and now, before you fall. “Treat yourself as you would one of your patients”, I heard, from somewhere inside. OK, what would I do? (What would you do?)
In retrospect I acted on intuition, and the images make me laugh now. I moved my right hand slowly toward my left arm, making sure not to throw myself off balance. I patted my left arm kindly, and whispered “It’s alright, honey. I know you’re really tired, and this is scary, but you’re going to be OK. Here’s what we’re going to do: we’re going to rinse away all the soap, then we’re going to turn off the water and step out of the tub. We’ll dry off, and you can go lay down on your nice, comfortable bed. You’ll be fine – I’m right here, holding on to you.” I felt a tiny surge of strength, my balance stabilized. “Honey” cried a few anxious tears, but she hung on and we made it out of the shower safely.
Please try this approach some time if you’re struggling or in danger, and there’s no help at hand. Nuts, you say? Well, sometimes we have to be a little bit desperate to open ourselves up to solutions. I don’t know who or what whispered in my ear, and I don’t need to know. I’m grateful. The suggestion worked beautifully, and after some time, I believe I’m beginning to understand why.
When we’re sick or injured, even when we’re really sick or badly injured, a large part of us is still OK. We feel terrible; we’re in pain, we’re scared, we’re going to throw up… maybe all of the above. But here’s the thing: if we’re conscious, our heart is still beating. Our lungs are still expanding and contracting, exchanging gases, breathing. In all likelihood our bones are holding together and our muscles and nerves are enabling them to move. Our minds can still think, our hearts feel. With all of that happening, we have a lot going for us and can say to ourselves “Well now; part of me is sick (or emotionally wounded, or physically injured), but another part is well, and from that vantage point I can help the sick/damaged part.” If, dear Traveler, you’re a parent or have ever helped another in need when you yourself were not at your best, you’ve already practiced this. All that remains is to apply it to your self.
This becomes a very empowering skill when we use it consciously. For one thing, it means we’re never alone, never helpless, because we can always depend on ourselves. To have the love and support of friends and family in times of struggle is an immeasurable gift; yet even without it, gifts abound. To dig deep into the well of our own resources when the need is greatest makes us wealthy… we find riches there we might never have found otherwise. If you’re seriously ill and are being cared for by dear friends and family members, it’s a blessing. If you have a committed life partner who selflessly participates in your efforts to save your life as if his/her life also depended on it, you’re (both) doubly blessed. If you’re on your own, you still have the best helper any of us can have: yourself. Not only that, you’re three times blessed, because you will emerge from your difficulties with new courage, clearer vision, and a peaceful self-confidence you never dreamed you could possess – because you worked for and found it yourself. Now you can share your new strength with those in need, and with the whole world.
So, dear Traveler, whether you’re wondrously healthy or facing some trying health challenges, remember: you’re never alone. If you’re constantly surrounded by caring people, count your blessings, but make time occasionally to reach into your private well of resources so you don’t miss out on the treasures there. And if you’re on your own, you’re one step ahead. You’re already reaching, and growing richer by the day.
With love ~ rosemary
PS – we all need some help with a few basic things when we’re ill… we need groceries delivered, and laundry done, and the bills paid. If you’re having trouble with the basics, there are people and organizations that can help. If you don’t know how to find them, please email me and I’ll try and point you in the right direction.
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